Gentlemen, you need some advice here. Seriously. Eharmony and Match both have suggestions on how to fill out profiles. You should follow them. Especially that part about SPELL CHECKING.
Let’s highlight a list of common faux pas.
1. Occupational hazards
If you sell shoes/cars or telemarket for a living, leave ANY job categories blank. Do not put “sales” or “retail” even if you are a manager. If you work for Starbucks, be creative and put something like “Fortune 500 company.”
Real life no-no:
Occupation: Subway "Sandwich Artist"
2. Main squeeze
Typically, this is the first section in an online profile. This might be called “Interests” or “About Me.”
Let’s look at two real life examples:
a) I have a collection of guns that I am very proud of...and I love buying old tractors and bull dozers.
b) I'm passionate about music, from rock to classical. I love to listen to it and to create it.
Which one do you think wins? If you picked “a”, this is why no one is responding to your requests to communicate. Example “b” shows skill and talent, and a reasonable level of substance.
3. Short answers
Short answers should not actually be short.
Examples:
The three things which X is most thankful for:
o Family
o Faith/Friends
o Food
Eeenh. Do I learn ANYTHING about you from these answers? Yes, I learn that you are an uncreative nimrod. Don’t try to be a smart ass and think that by being “gracious” in your responses, some sappy girl will be attracted to your sensitivity. Put something with substance!
4. Overdoing Jesus
Some sites are known as being more Christian-friendly than others. That is fantastic. However, there are two mistakes you need to avoid when filing out profiles on these sites.
a) Assuming that everyone on the site is Christian. This leads to including “faith” in the section highlighted above but saying nothing more.
b) The ONLY thing I know about you from reading your profile is that you love Jesus. I mean, you really love him. He’s the most important thing to you. You can’t live without him. In fact, he’s the most influential person in your life AND he’s all you read, think, breath and talk about. He is your life-skills, the thing you wish everyone noticed about you, how you spend your leisure time, and the most important quality in a life partner. He is A, B, C, and D “all of the above.”
Guess what? That’s fan-flipin-tastic. And as a Christian, I’m delighted to be matched with other Christians. But if that’s the only thing I can tell about you from your profile… dude, do you have a life?
5. Rainy days
Leisure time. This is a great section to highlight what you actually enjoy doing. BUT, there are proper and improper ways to go about this. (See “Overdoing Jesus.”)
What not to write: “I spend most of my leisure time hunting, fishing, [and] skeet shooting.”
If you do, in fact, spend most of your time hunting, fishing and skeet shooting, please remember that most women do not. Some of us may like the outdoorsy type. But that doesn’t mean I want to picture you scaling a fish or my living room with deer antlers on the wall. Or imagine the smell of you coming home after sitting in a boat on the lake all day. Gross. Don’t fret! You can turn this into a positive!
Here’s how: “I enjoy spending my leisure time outdoors. This may be partaking in outdoor sports or just being in nature.”
See? You didn’t give too much away there! Now I picture us going for an afternoon hike in the woods, picnicking with friends or you helping me with the garden. :)
6. Buzz killers
Here are some key words and/or phrases that should be avoided at all costs:
o Video games
o Mommy
7. Further reading
Though this section is often tucked in the corner of a profile, it is by far the most important section. What you answer in here determines whether or not the women who respond to you have a brain. Once again, I will use real life examples.
What is the last thing/book you read?
o The Bible
o Maxim
o Car & Driver magazine
o I don’t read
o Newspapers or GQ
ANY text book is more acceptable than the above answers. If you are in law school, med school, business school, even computer science or engineering, state something like: “Being a grad student, I spend most of my time reading X text books. Someday I hope to get back to completing my collection of Hemmingway.”
Ladies, if you have things to add, please comment.
Men, if you have observations from your online dating experiences, feel free to contribute, too.
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